Every excuse I make for skipping a workout or eating junk food is just holding me back from finally accomplishing my goals and becoming the person I want to be. No more excuses. Time to woman up and finally be the person I'm supposed to be. A strong, confident woman with a body I feel proud of!
Class today: While discussing To Kill A Mockingbird my english teacher brings up the fact that everyone wants to have someone to love them and how we all want a boyfriend or girl friend at some point in our life. The person who sit next to me, whom I happen to like.. a lot looks over at me:
Him: Forever alone
Me: You have a girlfriend….?
Friend infront of me: You have a girlfriend?
So I start getting just super confused and slightly excited. Then when class ends:
There are two people you’ll meet in your life. One will run a finger down the index of who you are and jump straight to the parts of you that peak their interest. The other will take his or her time reading through every one of your chapters and maybe fold corners of you that inspired them most. You will meet these two people; it is a given. It is the third that you’ll never see coming. That one person who not only finishes your sentences, but keeps the book.
I was doing so well last week, eating good and not purging. Then the weekend hit and I was with my team and we just ate so much junk. So the past two days have now been bad again because my body craves sugar again. Needless to say I’ve purged 3 times in the past 24 hours.
I’m actually getting so scared of it. But I see it as a way out. Today I actually got so worried about everything they tell you happens, stomach tearing, teeth rotting, etc. I actually almost had a panic attack, I’m so scared of it. I just have to be stronger and make tomorrow the best it can be.
So I ate really well all week then kind of blew it Saturday and Sunday but I’m trying not to beat myself up about it. I made today better and now I’m trying to convince myself it’s a good idea to go for a little job on the treadmill. I really need to start exercising again.