Hey Kyla, I know you're struggling. I can't say I understand how you feel exactly, but I can relate in some way. I've struggled through many complications in my life-and I'm only sixteen. I want you to know that while you take life just day by day, I will always be here if you need to talk <3
Happier for more than two days at a time. Happier with myself. Happy for everyone else. But life keeps lifting me up and shoving me back down. I’m being pushed around. It doesn’t matter how hard I try though because I just keep getting cut and bruised and it hurts, it hurts so much.
But one day maybe I’ll be strong enough so that I can stand up and the world won’t be able to push me down anymore.
Uhm get out of my head Becks. :( I just can’t do this.
Get out of my head to, this is ridiculous how accurate this is. I just want to not be so fat. I’m fatter than I was when I started losing weight, I know it. I can’t do this anymore. I’d prefer to just disappear.
I vow everyday to do something to make myself better. To workout, do my hair, makeup, write a great paper, volunteer, or clean up my house. Anything, no matter how small it is. I will propel myself to being a better me. I hope you all will make the same vow.
Today was actually good. School was fairly okay, except math, which right now is killing me! I don’t usually find it hard but right now I don’t know what to do. After school I went to the gym and lifted. When I got home I had dinner, which I just have to say was pork tenderloin and was literally one of the best things I’ve ever eaten. So nummy! Then I didn’t have homework so I didn’t have to pick whether I wanted to do that or run. Happy!
It’s part because I’m scared of it right now but honestly I don’t really care what my weight is as I go along… I just want to lose inches! Weight doesn’t really prove anything. The scale can say I weigh 5 pounds more than I did the day before but the tape measure can show I’m .5 of an inch down, so who really cares? I just need to focus on ONE DAY AT A TIME.
I took my measurements yesterday and I’ll take them in another 3-4 weeks. I wrote it all on my white board.
All I really want is to be happy and feel comfortable in my own skin. I don’t want to feel sad and gross. I just have to keep doing what I’m doing and if I ever want to skip a workout I’m going to think about how much better I’ll feel if I don’t. Also, today was much better! Lifted and ran a little! Happy!
Well my eating today was kind of shit, but it definitely was not over 2000 calories and I managed to stop feeling sorry for myself long enough to get myself down on the treadmill to run intervals so that’s good. Baby steps.
I hate it. I don’t even want to do anything. I don’t want people to see me. I don’t want to go out. I just want to disappear. Sorry if people find this triggering or hate me for it but it’s my blog and it’s how I feel.
Regular exercise is actually the best way to cure sadness.
The past few months I’ve been on and off with my exercising and I don’t know why. I felt so crappy when I wasn’t doing it. Now I’m doing it more regularly and I just feel better. I feel better about myself, about how I think and about where I’m going. I love it.
i dont think u need quite that much protein..high intensity strength athletes can consume up to 94g/day and high intensity endurance athletes can consume up to 77g/day. so unless you are doing high intensity strength every day, i doubt you would need that much. Its usually .75g/1kg body weight, and increased for athletes. between 65-75 is generous
I’m not focusing on how much protein I need. I just eat the right foods. I didn’t aim for that much. I can’t focus on how many grams of carbs, protein etc. I am consuming. I’m afraid it will lead back to binging. But thank you! I do lift 6 times a week though so more protein is important.
I’m the only girl in the gym at my school and it actually makes me feel so awesome. A bunch of people have come up to me and tell me how it’s cool that I’m lifting because most girls wouldn’t. It’s just an awesome feeling. I’m also respected there which I love. None of them ever look at me and say rude things or judge me because I’m a girl, they just talk to me like any other person lifting.
Feeling really pressured to lose weight….I know I want to lose a little, but in my head I feel like I’m competing with others and that I have to like “lose the most” and that isn’t the only thing I want to concentrate on, because then I know it won’t work. I still want to be able to accept myself. I think tumblr is affecting me kind of negatively lately. Like I love my blog, but seeing all these blogs all the time is just too much
This is exactly how I felt before. I always felt like I had to be at the lowest end of the weight spectrum because some people were. I felt like it was a competition. I think that’s why I gained pretty much all of it back, because the pressure of needing to be small, smaller, smallest got to me. Now I’m slowly learning that it’s my body and no matter what, it’s not really going to change. Sure I may slim down but I will never have thighs that don’t touch or a 24 inch waist or no hip dip. I need to accept my body and not compare myself to anyone else. Everyone hates something about themselves sometimes, maybe their thighs or their freckles. And that’s okay… it’s just important that you don’t hate yourself as a whole. Just embrace who you are, that’s what I’m trying to learn.
I’ve been so busy and to be honest I haven’t really exercised for the past two days, woops! On Friday I was just lazy but yesterday I felt so sick so I couldn’t. I also haven’t eaten very well but I’m not freaking out. I know the weight I’ve gained is going to take a while to take off. I’m actually okay with that now that I think about it. I don’t care if it takes 3 or 6 months to lose this weight, as long as I’m happier than when I was binging and feeling terrible.
Been lifting heavy and it feels excellent! Today I worked my arms and after I was going on my hands and knees to plank and my arm actually gave way and I fell to the floor… That’s how I know it was a good workout :)